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September 17, 2014

Broken Water Pipes + Basketball Court = Funhouse Sports

by Jared

Some people look at this warped basketball court, ruined from burst water pipes, as a tragedy. I like to look at this as possibly the greatest new game ever invented: Ba-SKATE-Ball. Somebody get Tony Hawk a pair of John Stockton shorts immediately!

Maybe instead of skateboards, you use inline rollerblades or something. Only because I can just see 10 guys on skateboards, with a board shooting out from underneath them when they slip. Or maybe they’re tethered, like surfboards.

Look, I haven’t worked out all the details yet. I just know it’s going to be amazing. Plus, we won’t have to worry about all these domestic abuse cases in our league because most skaters are just chill … and usually high.

Oooh, here’s another idea — how about 10 on 10 basketball, and you still have to dribble the ball. Twenty players on the court makes me think the ball won’t shoot out of bounds quite as much as I expect it would bouncing on these hills.

Maybe I’ll call that game — Bounce-sketball.

Get off my back, already, I’ll think of something else!

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